i think i can

Hey there, this is the FIRST ever poem i have written. I know I'm usually very spontaneous but i really don't have much hopes for this :( Without further adieu ...

holy crap... *quickly looks behind himself* no jeezaloo that was creepy, I just hope your not as sinister as your work or else the worlds in for a shock. Nothing ...

You do realize that every piece you right is fantastic? So you can stop with the disclaimers at the top, because even if it was not your best piece, we ...

I am a bit disappointed to be perfectly honest. Not at your poetry or your ability, more so at your attitude. It is fine to doubt yourself sometimes but life ...

Hey there, before I get into praising your poem I will first highlight a few things that snagged me: 1.)under you my heart's a swarm -> apostrophes help us to ...

Before I start I will like to thank "avers dolar" for all of her help making this piece, as it currently is, possible *EDIT* OK so I tried to incorporate ...

:shock: I did not have a problem with length, I thought it was perfectly proportioned :D . But i do have to agree that some words you use stick out: ...

Slammoth, your using a lot of purple prose. purple prose- very long-winded words that make the reader stop to think about what you are actually saying. This sort of writing ...

Ok ill just post a full critique: It is hot; he feels it through his hardened skin- Hardened refers to? Because the only way your skin can be hard is ...

First off it was excellent. But you didnt travell all the way to YWS for praise, you came for a critique.Since previous posts have already covered all the bases i ...

Well, anyone who can stick trepidation into a poem and not have it stick out like a sore thumb is going to be a top class writer one day. I ...

Hey, i promised you another part of chapter one, enjoy! It had grown dark and no-one but a flock of nosey sparrows noticed or heard the body of James Teal ...

wow avens i am extremely grateful for all of the time you have spent in reviewing my work. I'm just letting you know i will be away for a few ...

Hmm.. just a quick tidbit, I cant see anything wrong with it so I will lace my response with lovely praise for the author.I agree i did feel bad for ...

I agree with previous posts before me: simplistic and peaceful are just 2 words i can use to describe this. You captured exactly what someone,before they fall asleep, wants to ...